This past week has been full of activities. Steve has started surfing and is really enjoying it. You can tell when he really likes something because he NEVER stops talking about it. He’s having a lot of fun and has gone out everyday for the last week.
Freddie and I went fishing off the pier on Thursday and caught 8 sardines and 2 herring in about 20 minutes. We brought them home and Freddie insisted on helping me clean them. I said we would eat them for supper but she said that she wanted to eat them now, so I fried a couple up and she gobbled them down. Now she wants to go fishing every day.
We’ve spent a lot of time on the beach.
Although Steve and I would like to go out together we haven't completely let our lack of a babysitter stop us--I went to a movie on Tuesday and he went on Wednesday. We spend a lot of time together so I guess going to movies alone isn't that big of a deal right?
Here is a typical morning at the cottage
Steve admiring our neighbors truck.
The weather is supposed to be very hot this week so I’m anticipating a lot of fun on the beach. Three more weeks to go, I hope they don’t go by too fast.
March. 30 Friday
We have been away from home now for 2 months. Our travels have taken us to many places and in each of these places we have stayed in very close quarters. The first month was the coziest as we traveled from hotel room to hotel room—16 in total. Then we were in the apartment in Oakland for 3 weeks. This was roomier but still quite a bit smaller than what we are used to. Now we are in a 250 square foot studio cottage. Although we are able to spend a lot of time outside I think I’m getting a bit of cabin fever with the lack of physical space. My face may be starting to reflect this inner conflict as Freddie has begun to tell me to “be happy” on a regular basis over the last few weeks. I’m not sure if I look any different than I did before or if she’s just starting to notice for the first time that I have the tendency to look like a bit of a grump.
Through the years I have become aware that my resting expression is not one that exudes happiness. Most of us don’t really know what we look like for the majority of the day. Other than the few minutes we spend looking in the mirror we go around assuming we must look fine. Even if we have food in our teeth people won’t necessarily have the courage to tell us, but somehow there are people out there who feel it is their responsibility to tell others to smile. Over the years I have been told on numerous occasions, and by complete strangers none the less, to “smile”. Usually it’s in passing on the sidewalk so they have a quick get away. There is something about being told to smile that makes me want to do the opposite. After the initial shock wears off I think of all the biting retorts I should have said, and carry on down the block in a worsened mood—my face displaying an even more miserable version of itself. Lately, with Freddie pointing it out I am afraid the problem must be getting worse. “Mommy, be happy” she says as I read the label on a can of soup, or brush her teeth, or push her in the shopping cart. I frown and say, “I am happy”.
When I was 13 my parents bought me a poster for my bedroom; it was from that store San Francisco, you know the place. Anyway, it had a blown up picture of a soaking wet frowning cat, glaring out at the viewer with the words “I am smiling” written under its miserable face. At the age of 13 and onward until my late teens I was a particularly unhappy person and was not afraid to let everyone know, so I guess the poster seemed fitting. Since then I’d like to think I have become a well adjusted and content, happy person; my face however didn’t get the memo. I’m hoping that my expression hasn’t gotten more miserable over these last few weeks and that Freddie is just noticing for the first time that I’m a bit of a grumpy looking person. I guess she will just have to learn that you can’t read a book by its cover? Maybe it’s good for her to see her mother as a stern and serious woman, that way she won’t be tempted to try any funny business. Or maybe my face will go back to its original emotionless state when we get back home and Freddie will forget the whole grumpy mommy phase. At least both of her parents aren’t scowling down at her day in and day out, and with Steve in the picture she has a 50% chance of always having a charming grin.
Maybe I just need to take the advice of all those strangers (and Freddie too) and smile a bit more. We are in California for another month and if that’s not something to smile about I don’t know what is.
This new mug I got is a good reminder!
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